Reclaim Your "Me Time"

Prioritizing regular leisure, play, and rest to support the lives we want to live (instead of reserving the goodness for special holidays)

Last week, I was driving to my office after dropping the baby off at school and really bummed about it. It was a gorgeous morning, with crisp air and the sun shining – I wanted to be outside! I didn’t have any meetings or urgent work to attend to so I made the snap decision to take the Rainier Avenue exit and found myself parked and in line at The Flour Box.

I stood (in the sunshine, basking in the crisp air and warm sun) reading my book, taking occasional breaks to respond to emails and messages that came in for me, and after 45 minutes, I left with donuts and a Hillman Cinny.

It was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. 

I arrived at the office an hour and a half later than I had originally planned but I was in a good mood! I had taken myself on a little date, gotten a treat, spent some time outside in the sunshine and fresh air, and was ready to focus on getting work done. And I did! The mental and physical break helped me do some great work that day and no one was fussed by my morning absence.

We’re all exhausted

Yesterday, one of my friends texted our neighborhood mom thread polling the group about Mother’s Day plans. Overwhelmingly, others responded that they were taking time alone – a spa appointment, a solo overnight (or an entire weekend!), and other versions of me time.  

“...a key part of Mother’s Day is time to myself.”

While reading all the responses in the group chat, I was struck by the pervasive narrative that Mothers must wait until their holiday to take time for themselves and I was so frustrated for all my mom friends! We’ve all seen the social media memes proclaiming, “for Mother’s Day, I just want a break!” and I remember seeing it back in December, too. When a holiday comes around, the moms just want a break. 

We’ve talked about how hard it is to take a break. Not just for parents! We’re all grinding the proverbial pavement during the work week, limping to the weekend, when we crash. On particularly full weeks, I know I can’t think more than a day or two in advance, and then the weekend comes and all I have the energy for is to exhale. 

And before we know it, Monday’s here again and we haven’t recovered. 

And sure, it’s great to take a full vacation, but that’s just like waiting until Mother’s Day for “me time.” I need some sort of intentional break from regularly scheduled programming as part of my regular, weekly life so that the daily grind becomes less… grinding? We all need to build in small breaks so that we can sustain and thrive. Don’t we want to be thriving? Not merely surviving?  

The Artist Date

My trip to Venice was rejuvenating because it was intentionally planned and included a few key things that are important to me. My Flour Box detour was also intentional (though not planned very far in advance), and included some things that brought me joy.

While we all might not be able to escape for 5 days to Italy with two of our oldest friends, we can intentionally plan something for ourselves that includes something we love and will be reviving in small pockets of time. Remember, we need to make space for ourselves to come alive!

I am working to hold space for myself every week with Julia Cameron’s practice of The Artist Date. 

As part of her book, The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron assigns readers to complete an Artist’s Date each week as part of their homework. This date is meant to be a “festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you.” Years after buying the book, I read The Artist’s Way as part of a virtual book club while I was pregnant.

You don’t need to consider yourself an artist to get value from this book and the Artist Date practice. I’ve rebranded them as, simply, dates or mini-vacations. I take myself on solo dates (like my jaunt to The Flour Box) as often as I can as a way to remember what brings me joy, and to make space in my busy mind, body, and soul for all that I ask of it.

But how? More examples

When I’m able, I block time on my work calendar (when I already have childcare covered, too) for a massage in the middle of the workday, a hike if the weather is nice, or another outing that is outside of my regular zone of daily life and its routines. Once a quarter, I try to take a whole workday off for a full-day field trip of my own choosing.

If things are busy and the time away from work is not happening, I might take a detour during my commute for a fancy coffee and pastry to start the day. Maybe I can take a walk during a conference call. Or on one of my WFH afternoons without meetings, I’ll work from a brewery in the sunshine. 

What are some little ways you can treat yourself on a regular basis? 

Why save all the good stuff for later? 

Slow down to dig in

I went to a yoga class the other week and during final resting pose at the end of class when I was simply laying there, my body refreshed after moving with intention for an hour - my brain started spinning. But not the way it does during a stressful workday or when I'm overwhelmed and having trouble focusing. Instead, I was energized and my brain was churning out all sorts of inspiration. Ideas for a project I've been dreaming about just started bubbling up and flowing into all the mental space I had created by allowing myself to REST in that yoga class.

Before yoga that evening, it was really hard to get out the door. I was wildly frazzled telling the babysitter all the details of feeding the baby dinner and I forgot a hair tie. I would have been late to class if not for the parking spot miracle and I almost regretted making the effort. At the time, it seemed like it would have been easier to skip it, stay at home, do it all myself. But once I accepted that I was already there, I embraced the activity that brings me joy.

Once I settled into that permission to have fun and rest, the mental productivity that popped up at the end was such a surprise! If I had instead chosen to sit at my computer and "do work" on this project I've been dreaming of, I would have produced nothing. My brain was fried and could not engage with a computer or work-adjacent content without an intentional rest or break.

Taking yourself on solo dates and scheduling regular breaks to rest, play, and find joy is so important. We all need intentional breaks and when we have them, our brains are better able engage with the life we want to be living.

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Hi! I’m Liz. Thanks for being here and reading my journals on the journey. If you’re new, learn a bit more about me and this space here and consider subscribing to my weeklyish posts. You can choose which types of posts to receive via email and if you read in the Substack app, you can choose to get notifications in the app instead of emails with new posts (or no notifications at all!)

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