June Book Report

wrestling with identity prompted by life and some really great fiction

I’ve been doing a lot of pseudo-deep thinking the last few weeks about identity, the passage of time, and what it means to show up authentically. What makes a person? How does time, experience, relationship change us? How much do we control of our identity? I say “psuedo-” because my toddler has also decided to stop sleeping consistently so my brain is not firing on all cylinders.

I’m thinking a lot but not really pulling those thoughts together into anything articulate… and then I’ve been reading these great books! And the stories are just teasing things out of my brain and weaving them together into these beautiful revelations (more on those another day).

I am highlighting one nonfiction book below (that I loved!), but most of the reading that has prompted my swampy brain into coherent thought has been fiction! And this is why I love fiction; it mirrors true stories and gives us perspective into the potential lives of other people. Just because the specific characters in a book are made up does not mean their story couldn’t be real. Our lives are made of stories and those stories show up in the books we read and I love that so much — it makes me feel like I’m spending time with a group of new friends every time I read a book that grips me.

Meanwhile, Seattle Public Library is struggling to recover from a cybersecurity attack last month (yes, really), which has wreaked havoc on my summer reading agenda (and BINGO board!). I’ve made some pivots in my TBR and using this as a nudge to read the books on my shelf I’ve been procrastinating. All is not lost! I also took myself on a little date to the neighborhood bookstore last week which was a delightful consolation prize.

Next month, I’m hoping to share a “state of the BINGO board” and a general overview of my summer reading. For now, here’s what I loved last month!

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June reads

Real Americans by Rachel Khong

This is a family saga of sorts, spanning three generations, and contends with the layered dynamics of relationships and the often conflicting desire to pour yourself into your own dreams while also dedicate your life to others (especially as a mother).

There’s also a major throughline grappling with the difficulty of when the way you want to love someone conflicts with the way they want or need to be loved and how that love shapes us and our place in the world. This theme kept bringing me back to a quote that I heard long ago from a mentor who is also a very wise family therapist, “Our parents did the best they could and they hurt us along the way.”

How do we make a life for ourselves and our children? No matter how benevolent our intentions, how can we ever know what’s best for someone else — even our children? How do we trust our desires and navigate the influence of other people, our heritage, and the culture we immerse ourselves in? What are we made of, what do we appear to be, and where is the blurred line between the two?

The audio narration of this was excellent with a different narrator for each character’s voice, though I found myself pausing it quite a lot to write down quotes so I may have preferred reading via print.

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

I devoured this one! Such a tender YA story about two high school misfits who become lifelines to one another. There are some heavy elements of the narrative — abuse, racism, and classism, among them — and especially considering the YA audience, I was frustrated that many secondary stories weren’t resolved.

Eleanor showed such courage as she wrestled with the practicalities of her horrible home life while also figuring out how to navigate a new high school. I wanted to punch all the kids (and adults) who were mean to her and loved that she found Park to lean on as a friend.

Devotion: A Memoir by Dani Shapiro

As I continue making my way through everything Dani Shapiro has written, I savored this collection of essays. I’m typically the devouring type but did not want this one to end. In it, Shapiro wrestles with how her past and familial upbringing is shaping the way she shows up for and with her family and particularly, the ways faith can and should affect everyday life.

With short chapters and an unidentified timeline spanning many years and major life events, the feeling of searching and questioning really hooked me. Maybe that’s because I was already wrestling with some of the same questions she ponders. How does our past shape who we become? What duty do we have to our family of origin and our ancestors to continue a legacy? What freedom do we have to make different choices?

Or perhaps it’s because she writes about the many questions and worries that many of us think of in the middle of the night? There are no right answers to any of these searching questions, much to my chagrin. But the way Shapiro writes about her discernment “in the afternoon of life” was comforting and encouraging, nudging me on my way with a slightly-less-muddled mind.

All Fours by Miranda July

Ok, I didn’t love this one — but it did fit into my theme of searching for identity so it deserves a callout here. There was too much…. sexual frustration for me? But I did appreciate the intimate confusion of not understanding how all the choices you’ve made add up to your current life and the curious excavation about what it means to be a woman, wife, and mother.

While I didn’t love the book as a whole, parts of it weaseled into my soul. This excerpt on page 1 gutted me in the most relatable sort of way and set a tone for my reading of the pages that followed.

“Sometimes I paused before coming inside to watch Harris and Sam innocently going about their business. Harris mutely explaining something to Sam or lifting Sam into the air. I feel such tenderness toward them. Try to remember this feeling, I say to myself. They are the same people up close as they are from here.”

Life’s Too Short by Abby Jimenez

This is the final book of the trilogy I started last month and it was wonderful, of course. I especially liked Vanessa’s internal dialogue as she wrestled with how to live the life she wanted, while secretly knowing the ending already had a time stamp. Again, I loved Jimenez’ ability to create a dreamy love story with characters that have real-life, grown-up problems.

And that’s all for now! What are you reading? How are you filling your BINGO squares? Drop a comment to share! 📚✨

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