Living that little treat life

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

I have a friend who always talks about living the little treat life, where even the smallest accomplishments or special days deserve a little treat. Heck yes! Of course they do! But, I didn’t realize how fully I had adopted and expanded this lifestyle for myself until today.

It’s my birthday (!!!!) and historically, I am a plan-the-party, make-a-big-deal-of-everything kind of birthday gal. I want to be the center of attention, and I’d like the day to be special in all of the ways, thankyouverymuch. But this year, my day looks pretty much like a regular day (and I’m thrilled!).

a few snapshots from my regular day / birthday!!!

In recent years, something has shifted. Maybe it was the global pandemic that canceled my birthday plans five years ago, or the baby stealing my birthday thunder two years ago, or maybe it’s just being on the back half of 30. But I’m tired, and this year, I wanted my birthday to be easy.

Name what you want

A few days ago, I was feeling indecisive about how I wanted to spend the week and, specifically, how I wanted to celebrate on my actual birthday. As I have historically believed, it needed to be exceptional! What did I want the day to hold that would make it special? To avoid disappointment, I knew I needed to get clear on what I wanted!

So I made a list.

On my birthday: What do I want to do? How do I want to feel?

• I want to be unhurried.

• I want to eat and drink delicious things

• I want to read and write

• I want to move my body in ways that feel refreshing and make me feel strong

• I want to rest

• I want to spend time with my family

• I want it to be easy

Give yourself what you want

Upon reviewing the list, my immediate response was annoyance. None of those things is very special – I do those things regularly! This day has to be exceptional!

What I want is a simple day full of things I enjoy. Why am I telling myself that’s not special!? How lucky am I that I don’t have to wait for my birthday or a big accomplishment to spend time doing things that bring me joy?

As Annie Dillard famously wrote, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

My regular weeks include moments of the following things that I love:

• My family stays in pajamas until lunch on Saturday, unhurried and unbothered.

• We go out to dinner when a particular craving strikes

• I spend time in the evening reading and writing

• We make rich, dark coffee in a french press and drink it steaming from interesting ceramic mugs. For an afternoon pick-me-up a few times a week, my husband and I split a moka pot of espresso and I turn my shot into a fancy latte – foamy milk and everything

• I run along the marina or in mossy forests with friends in the early morning hours, lift heavy weights over lunch, or climb the stairmaster with a good audiobook

• I go to bed early and sleep for 9 blissful hours

• My daughter and I take the dog for a morning walk before she goes to school and we ride bikes in the afternoon before dinner

• I pop into a coffee shop for a chocolate croissant and vanilla latte on my way to work or I linger and enjoy the treats while doing a few hours of work

• I teach and practice yoga in the evenings and on weekends

Make every day special

My actual birthday has held multiple items from the list above and yes, it is a special day. But what’s truly remarkable here is the reminder of how full my whole life is. I’m not yearning for my birthday so I can take a break from life and instead spend the day on what I really enjoy. I’ve incorporated little treats into enough of my days that my whole life actually feels like a treat!

I don’t need (or want!) a special occasion to look much different than a regular Wednesday. The moments of my regular Wednesday make up a life I’m thrilled to be living.

What moments make up your life? Are you living the little treat life yet?