Remember who you were before kids?
A little note to the moms out there at the end of Women’s History Month
When you introduce yourself, do you talk about your kids?
But what about you? Sure, you’re a mother. And what else?
The version of you before kids? She’s still under there. Beneath the layers of spit-up, band-aids, toddler speak, mud, peanut butter, and sleep deprivation, the foundation of your personhood still exists. Yes, you’ve grown and changed with your shifting identities, but you are still in there.
Consider yourself before you had children. Maybe a few years ago or maybe way back to childhood. How did you fill your days? That version of you, what made her smile?
And now consider today’s iteration. What makes you smile today?
I am a woman who loves quietly reading in a coffee shop and spending the day outside with my husband. I love moving my body in ways that exhaust me and help me know I’m alive and strong. As a kid, I gleefully ran around on the beach, splashing and digging in tide pools until salt and sand was a fully incorporated layer of skin. I joyfully chase my daughter as she rides her bike and scoop her up after a wipeout. I love watching her draw tripes and surcools (stripes and circles) and discover what sand feels like.
I like alone time, 1:1 adult time, and cuddling with my daughter at bedtime.
Yes, and. All of these can be true.
Tend to your coexisting identities. Give them all moments to smile. So many things can bring us joy – and who knows what will make you smile tomorrow?