Hello to Here
Hello to Here
What is time, what am I giving my energy to, and a reminder to be more intentional
Exactly one year ago, I was very pregnant and honestly shocked that I didn’t have a baby yet. It was my due date and I had been certain she’d come early (spoiler alert: she was 10 days late — more on that another time). In my journal that afternoon, I wrote, “A delight of the day was reading my book on the back porch with CC and a mug of coffee in the spring-like afternoon sunshine.”
Here we are a year later with another afternoon of spring-like sunshine and I feel like the same person. It feels like the exact same day. And at the same time, I am a completely different person. It seems like yesterday or an eternity ago.
Time is a mind-bending vortex that I’m convinced I will never understand. It is truly wild how it passes so inconsistently – some moments fly by in the blink of an eye, to be barely remembered, and others pass with excruciating slowness. And naturally, the speed is never what we would choose.
How do we exist in this time vortex?
We can only be in one place at a time. Everyone knows this. I know this, theoretically. I have been trying to slow down and savor a quieter life but at the same time, I tend to overbook and do more. I’m consistently pushing against my own goals and best interests.
My challenge here is multi-fold. I am enthusiastic about nearly everything which makes it difficult to say no - to myself and the ideas I come up with in my head and to other people. I am also horrible at estimating how long things will take. I think all people are a little bit bad at this but I’m especially bad and also never remember this particular fault when making plans.
All of this leads to overbooking, unrealistic to-do lists, and multitasking. I’m splitting my energy and attention with reckless abandon and at the end of a busy day, instead of feeling accomplished, I feel depleted and everything has blurred together. At the end of a full year, I wonder where the days went.
That’s currently how I’m existing in time. I’m getting caught up in the rush and letting it carry me along.
Consenting to reality
Back in December, I wrote, “I’m slowly realizing that for me and my little family, this is a season of slowing down to speed up. We need to DO less to have more.” This is hard for me!
One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist, wrote in her most recent book,
“A wise friend of mine says that true spiritual maturity is nothing more—and nothing less—than consenting to reality. Hello to here—not what you wanted or longed for or lost, not what you hope for or imagine. Reality. This here. This now.”
I’ve had those words, hello to here, taped to my computer for years. But only now am I starting to actually read them.
Then the other day, I listened to a podcast featuring Lindsay C. Gibson and she talked about the importance of intentionally prioritizing where we put our energy. We get to decide which relationships and which activities come first and everything else gets what’s left over.
Consenting to our reality - our here - means recognizing the finite nature of our personal energy and how we spend it.
Hello to here
This phrase hello to here reminds me of the similar phrase, “wherever you go, there you are,” and the principle that our actions show the world what we value.
How can I say hello to my current reality and take actions in line with my values? How can I be intentional with my energy and make choices that show who and what my priorities are?
I think I know the answers to these questions but it’s a helpful reminder that I need to be asking them regularly of myself.
In this season, I want to focus on what’s important instead of being surprised at where I’ve ended up. On March 5th next year, I want to feel as if I’ve been present for the entirety of a full year. I don’t want to wonder where the time has gone.
I know that it will continue to pass inconsistently and plenty of moments will blur together but I don’t want to wonder why quite as much. I don’t want to be able to blame it on my overbooking, poor planning, or inattention.
I know that will mean saying no, slowing down, doing fewer things. But hopefully, that means that I will be more present for the things I do choose, which is the real goal. I want to really be in this life here, now.
Hi! I’m Liz. Thanks for being here and reading my journals on the journey. If you’re new, learn a bit more about me and this space here and consider subscribing to my weeklyish posts. You can choose which types of posts to receive via email and if you read in the Substack app, you can choose to get notifications in the app instead of emails with new posts. Use the button above to subscribe or make any changes to your current subscription that suit your fancy.
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