Interrupted sleep and three breakfasts

Manage the Mornings #2: Let’s talk about the lifetimes we live before 9am

Did you miss the kick-off to this series? If so, catch it here!

In the last month, we’ve gone from Maycember to Junecember and June-uary in the PNW, which basically means that there is still too much going on – everyone’s in summer mode but school is not out yet AND it’s cold again. The days are eternal, and yet, we’re still wearing jackets.

I still have a toddler, and she still seems to manage my time – poorly, at that.

I was talking with a coworker yesterday who was visiting from the NYC office, and she told me how calm her work mornings normally are. She’s single and childless, but also, being on the east coast of a nationally dispersed team, her mornings are usually slow and meeting-light; my west coast counterparts and I aren’t joining any 9am ET meetings.

While listening to her, the zillions of things I had crammed into the hours before 9am flashed through my head like chaotic screenshots: shower, get ready with care (important IRL meeting), walk the dog while dialing into an 8am work meeting, eat breakfast (gotta get the protein we’re all worried about!), load the protesting toddler into the car, drop her off, battle traffic for an extra 15 minutes before tearing into the office late. I finally caught my breath around 10am when I sat down and willed my brain to focus on the VP we were meeting with.

No major takeaways from this anecdote except that I love my toddler and also for a few moments yesterday (and on many days, if we’re honest), I really missed being childless and having calm, slow mornings built around my own choices.

How have your mornings been this month? Easing into any new routines for the new season?

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This month, I’m excited to share a morning from the home of Krystina Wales, a biz friend of mine. Krystina and I met last summer through a group coaching pod and immediately hit it off – we both manage multiple jobs, parent daughters and dogs, and generally do too many things. When I launched this series, I knew I wanted to hear from her about how they juggle things in their home.

Krystina manages the lion's share of morning parenting in her household, and I’m impressed by the variation she incorporates into the family breakfast routine – we are just getting to kid breakfast in my house, so I am taking notes!

What’s your morning routine? What does an ideal morning include? And then, when things go awry, what changes do you make?

I want to know how you plan. But what I really want to dig into is how you pivot.

Want to share your morning survival intel? Fill out this form to be featured in an upcoming post!

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Name: Krystina Wales

Where do you live? Baltimore, MD

Family details: Married with two kids (7 and 5 yo) and two dogs

Work details: I work full-time from home (unless there is a need for me to be out for a meeting or other project) and I run a content writing business.

School/childcare details: My kids are in school from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., except on Wednesdays when they get out at 1 p.m.

In your home, what are the high-level elements of the mornings? How do you and your family split up or share responsibilities? What are some things that make it complicated?

I work full-time and am partnered, but my husband has chronic sleep issues, so I do all of the morning routine on my own. Both my kids hate sleep, so they are also usually up earlier than I would like. I used to be able to work out in the morning before kids, but I can't motivate myself anymore, and the logistics seem too daunting with an already hectic schedule.

We only have one car, so I never schedule meetings or appointments early. There have been a couple of occasions where there is a non-negotiable thing I must be at during school dropoff. In those instances, I hitch a ride with a coworker or borrow my brother-in-law's car to leave my husband with our car. Additionally, once a month, I have an early meeting I have to take notes for, so my husband will get them to school.

Below is a time diary from one real-life morning in Krystina’s home:

6:30:

Woken up unwillingly to a child spider-monkeyed to my back. My youngest has a weird virus that has kept her home from school the past few days, and she had a rough night – up five times between 11pm and 1am, and the oldest also joined in at 1am. I finally put both back down, and one got up again at 3am so I’m exhausted and could use the extra sleep, but the spider monkey does not agree. She is crawling on my back, asking endless questions, and refusing to let me sleep in. The youngest comes in 10 minutes before the alarm goes off, and it’s three in the bed.

7:00:

Alarm goes off, and it’s off to the races. I get up, brush teeth, take meds, and check my phone. It’s supposed to rain all day, so I’m not running. I take a quick shower now to get that out of the way, get dressed, and find a hair scrunchie that my oldest is requesting. My youngest is hanging out in my bed. She won’t go to school today, so I let her chill.

7:15:

My oldest has ADHD, so it’s hard for her to focus, and her boundless energy, particularly in the morning, makes it even harder to focus. She is just getting dressed now after a couple of redirections, but as much as I can, I let her do her thing and go at her own pace. I give my husband his meds before heading downstairs for breakfast. I fill water bottles and start on breakfast for the youngest (blueberries and a granola bar since we still aren’t feeling super great.)

My oldest has gotten distracted with something, so I go up to her room to grab her. They are allowed to watch a show while they eat as long as they have everything done and we have enough time left, which she does after getting her shoes on and choosing her breakfast (French toast sticks, blueberries, apple sauce).

7:30:

While they eat and watch, I realize I forgot to press the button on the dishwasher last night, so I start it and put the other dishes away. Then I realize I set the air fryer for the French toast sticks incorrectly, so fix that and pack my oldest her snack.

7:45:

We’re five minutes late leaving because of my French toast air fryer mistake, but my oldest and I get into the car, and the youngest hangs back with Dad.

8:00:

I arrive at school, and she goes in by herself (where did my baby go?!?). Some road construction reroutes me on the way home, and the drive takes a bit longer.

8:15:

Arrive home, make my own breakfast (I've been hyperfixated on Greek yogurt bowls for ... three years now?) and coffee, then grab water before heading upstairs to sit at my desk.

8:30:

Before eating and turning my mind to work, I get the youngest set up in my bed with pillows, blankets, coloring books, and books. We are locked in for the next few hours. My original plan was to work from a coffee shop today, so I am mourning my muffin, latte, and alone time, but I am also so grateful to have the flexibility to sit with my sick kiddo and take care of her.

8:45:

Exhale at my desk and start the work day.

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Thanks for reading! Want to share how you manage the mornings? I’d love to hear!